thisbusinesscarbonation answered your question: Okay so I’m all up to date on Doctor Who, The…

Breaking Bad

thAT WASN’T AN OPTION

I made it better ok

my boyfriends family wanted their christmas card to have all the pets in it with them all looking at the camera, so I made this for them.

i hat ew hen my insIDES ARE ROASTING FROM MY LAPTOP BUT I DONT DO ANYTHINGF ABOUT IT AND THEN PROCEED TO HATE MYSELF LATER FOR HAVING NO SOUL

I got bored and made this in hopes that it might inspire someone to follow their dreams or some shit idek

golden-and-luminous:

More American Horror Story parallels.

OKAY SO HERE I AM WATCHING TELEVISION WHEN AN INFORMERCIAL COMES ON.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S FUCKING FOR? IT’S FOR PERFECT POLLY(AKA THE MOST COMMON NICKNAME FOR PARROTS). IT’S A FAKE FUCKING “”“PARROT”“”.

BUT THE INFOMERCIAL HOLY SHIT THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID.

IT’S NOT A FUCKING PARROT. IT’S A FUCKING PARAKEET. A FUCKING MOTION ACTIVATED, CHIRPING, ROBOT PARAKEET.

THIS IS A MOTHER FUCKING PARROT. PARROTS DON’T FUCK AROUND, THEY EARNED THE NICKNAME ‘POLLY’ AND IN WALKS A MOTHERFUCKING ROBOT BIRD WHO DOESN’T KNOW REAL BIRD SHIT AND CALLING THEMSELVES PERFECT FUCKING POLLY.

THIS IS A FUCKIN’ PARAKEET. YOU CAN CLEARLY TELL THE DIFFERENCE OF THESE TWO GOD DAMN BIRDS BECAUSE PARAKEETS ARE LIKE THE SIZE OF YOUR SHIT AND PARROTS ARE THE SIZE OF A FUCKIN HOUSE CAT. PARAKEETS THINK THAT THEY’RE ALL THAT BUT THEY’RE FUCKING NOT. PARROTS ARE WHERE IT’S AT.

MOVING ON TO MY NEXT POINT:

WHO THE ACTUAL FUCK WOULD BUY A ROBOT BIRD THAT FUCKING CHIRPS AT YOU?

IF YOU’VE EVER HAD A REAL BIRD- THEY ARE FUCKING ANNOYING WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF OR A LOVED ONE?

DID THEY MAKE THIS SO YOU WOULDN’T FEEL BAD ABOUT FUCKIN’ STRANGLING IT?

HEY IF YOU ACT NOW YOU CAN TWO OF THESE CHIRPING MOTHER FUCKERS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE CHIRPING MOTHERFUCKER

THE POINT I’M TRYING TO MAKE HERE IS THAT THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING INVENTION EVER SO IF YOU WANT TO DRIVE SOMEONE TO THEIR WITTS END, PURCHASE PEFECT POLLY TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!

lol whenever someone reblogs a ‘send me an anon asking this, this or this’ and nO ONE FUCKING DOES IT 

my dream job would be to be that police officer/fbi agent who lures in pedophiles via IM because im so gud at tlking liek i’m 12 xD and that would require no physical effort

ugh shut the fuck up

uhm, rude. 

when people i went to high school with follow me on tumblr i get really uncomfortable and debate on skinning myself and sending it to them with a note saying ‘u did this’ 

dont fucking look at me ok

so for the past two days i’ve eaten burger king, and then the next day i ate panera and then a shit ton of cookies and a bunch of mcdonalds all within the the same hour but i don’t really give a shit because the world is ending in a few days so i’m gonna eat 2 pizzas tonight along with mozzarella sticks and blog my fat ass away ok 

I’M WATCHING ELLEN DEGENERES RIGHT NOW AND THIS BITCH SAID SHE SAID SHE COULD DO 20 BACKFLIPS IN 30 SECONDS AND SHE FELL FLAT ON HER FACE AND THEN SHE ASKED IF SHE COULD DO IT AGAIN AND SHE FELL AND FUCKED UP AGAIN AND SHE ASKED TO GO AGAIN AND PLOT TWIST SHE FUCKED UP AGAIN YOU TRIED TO HARD GIRL JUST GO HOME